FOLLOWING THE CLUES

Following the Clues

I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.John 13:34-35

What does your spouse most often request of you? This is usually a clue to a person’s love language. You may have interpreted these requests as nagging, but in fact, your spouse has been telling you what makes him or her feel loved.

For example, if your mate frequently requests that you take a walk after dinner, go on a picnic, turn off the TV and talk, or go away for a weekend together, these are requests for quality time. One wife told me, “I feel neglected and unloved because my husband seldom spends time with me. He gives me nice gifts on my birthday and wonders why I’m not excited about them. Gifts mean little when you don’t feel loved.” Her husband was sincere and was trying to demonstrate his love, but he was not speaking her love language.

As we see from the verse above, Jesus instructed his disciples to love each other as he had loved them. How does God love us? Perfectly and with complete understanding. He knows us, and he knows how we can experience his love. We can never love perfectly this side of heaven, of course. But discovering the love language of your spouse is an important step in the right direction.

Lord, thank you for knowing me perfectly and loving me perfectly. Help me to think carefully about what my spouse most often asks of me. Give me the wisdom to interpret that correctly so I can communicate love better to him or her.