LOOKING AT THE POSITIVE

One of the most powerful things we can do to enhance the seasons of our marriage is to choose a winning attitude. How do we do this?

First, we must admit our negative thinking. As long as you think negatively, you’ll never be able to choose a winning attitude. The second step is to identify your spouse’s positive characteristics, even if that’s difficult for you. You might even get help from your children by asking, “What are some of the good things about Daddy or Mommy?” Third, once you’ve identified those positive characteristics, thank God for them. Then, fourth, begin to express verbal appreciation to your spouse for the positive things you observe. Set a goal, such as giving one compliment a week for a month. Then move toward two per week, then three, and so on until you’re giving a compliment each day.

The book of Proverbs has a lot to say about the importance of words. Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death” (niv). Proverbs 12:18 talks about words bringing healing. Proverbs 15:4 calls gentle words “a tree of life.” You can give your marriage new life when you replace condemnation and criticism with compliments and words of affirmation.

Lord God, thank you for all the wonderful things about my spouse. Please keep those fresh in my mind. Help me to use my words to acknowledge those things. May what I say heal and bring life.