Confess

CONFESS

As children, most of us kept secrets from our parents. If a neighbour’s window was shattered by a baseball, we didn’t tattle on our buddy. Although we knew we were failing a subject at school, we didn’t come home and ask for more homework time. We didn’t tell our parents we were dating the “bad boy” at school. And we conveniently never mentioned that there would be alcohol at the party.

Of course, one way or another, our parents usually found out. Punishment, guilt and shame followed—a cycle repeated throughout our childhood. Sometimes our parents already knew what we were up to but deliberately waited for us to come forward and tell them. We weren’t really fooling them in the first place.

Some of us quickly learned that the punishment would be less severe if we confessed our misbehaviour before our parents learned of it from some other source. Not only were the consequences less harsh, but we discovered that the guilt and shame were more manageable.

As we start to confess the mistakes and poor choices of our past, we begin to find a new freedom in our present. Taking responsibility for our behaviour relieves the guilt and shame, and we become open to healing, reconciliation and restoration. We weren’t really fooling God in the first place; he knows about our past, present and future and has been waiting for us to come forward and confess to him. Now we can begin to experience his unconditional love and forgiveness on a deeper level. Second Corinthians 5:19 tells us that “God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.”

After we’ve completed our inventories, we’ve finished the first part of Principle Four (“Openly examine . . .”). The second aspect of this principle takes us to our next step: to “confess my faults to myself, to God and to someone I trust.” Confession means that we agree with God regarding our sins, and this consensus restores our fellowship. Principle Four sums up how we’re to obey God’s direction in confessing our sins. First, we own up to our sins before God so we can be forgiven. In 1 John 1:9 we’re assured that “if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

Then we confess our sins to someone else whom we trust so that we can begin the healing process. James 5:16 says, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”

We may be afraid to share our inventory, the good and bad aspects of our past and present. But when we do, we find the peace and freedom for which we’ve been searching, perhaps for our entire life. We need to acknowledge our shortcomings, resentments and sins. God wants us to come clean, to admit that wrong is wrong and that we’re “guilty as charged.” We need to own up, to confess the sins we’ve pinpointed in our inventory. We’ve been given incredible news in Romans 8:1: “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

It has been said that “we are only as sick as our secrets.” When we share our deepest secrets, we begin to divide the pain and the shame. A healthy sense of self-worth develops a self-esteem that’s no longer based on the world’s standards but on the truth of Jesus Christ.

Pain is inevitable for all of us, but misery is optional. In fact, when we confess, the misery goes away. In Psalm 32:3–5 David recalls, “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night, your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the LORD.’ And you forgave the guilt of my sin.”

Take a Look:

• What secret are you holding on to that needs to be brought out into the light?

• What is holding you back from sharing your secrets and sins?

• Describe the feelings you experienced after you confessed a sin to God and to someone else.

• What does James 5:16 mean to you?