Confession before Forgiveness

Confession before Forgiveness

If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14

Can you forgive without an apology? If your definition of forgiveness is to release the person, your hurt, and your anger to God, then you can forgive without an apology. But if by forgiveness you mean reconciliation, then an apology is a necessary ingredient. Christians are instructed to forgive others in the same manner that God forgives us. How does God forgive us? The Scriptures say that if we confess our sins, God will forgive us (see 1 John 1:9). In 2 Chronicles 7, the Lord tells Solomon that he will forgive the people if they pray humbly and repent. Nothing in the Scriptures indicates that God forgives the sins of people who do not confess and repent.

We often want our spouse just to forget about what happened. We don’t want to talk about it, and we don’t want to apologize. We just want it to go away. But things don’t just “go away.” God has provided a pattern for human forgiveness, and that pattern requires apologizing for our wrongs. The apology is a way of accepting responsibility for our behaviour and expressing regret. We recognize that what we did to our spouse has put a barrier between us, and we show that we want it removed. When we apologize, we are likely to receive forgiveness.

Father, thank you for your promises of forgiveness for those who confess their sins and turn away from them. Please help me to be willing to confess my wrongs to my spouse so that he or she can forgive me freely. Too often I try to pretend that nothing happened, but I know that’s not the way to a stronger relationship. Change my heart, Lord.